The Catch Up

It’s been a while since my last post. I’ve been in this place where I just could not think of typing. Any time I would think of something, a cloud would form in my mind and cause a storm of doubts, fears, and sap my energy.

I’ve been going to a therapist for a bit, and working on some past issues. We have talked about how I can not be kind to myself. The self judgment is strong in this one… and it drains me.

There are so many reasons from my past, probably very typical stuff. My mom always had reasons why I could not do things, accomplish things, have dreams, etc. I only remember physical affection when I was sick. A lot of the time, it was just, “Why are you upset now?”. Most of my memories are of my mom lying down on the couch watching Soaps.

Anyway, I am keeping the battle going. I have been good, and bad over the last bit. Some discussions in therapy have helped, but some stuff has not. That’s expected. The new thing I have been trying out is Lemon-Aid 714 by Zenstra Bio-Health – the positive reviews were overflowing. They are Gaba/Lemon Balm Extract pills. So far, they seem pretty good. I’ll update here after using these for month or so.

What have you found helps or does not help your dark days? We are all so different, but some of us may be more the same than we realize.